Cared For
by Wyvern1
Summary: After the incident with Darkstar, the unlikely pair Filia and Jillas come to realize just how important they could be to each other.


Cared For  
Author: Wyvern  
e-mail: hayama@kakeru.org  
AIM: LilAkito  
ICQ: 1511272  
  
  
This is a little fic I wrote after watching the DVD boxed set of Slayers TRY.   
  
*SPOILERS* *SPOILERS* *SPOILERS* *SPOILERS*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
This occurs at the end, after Darkstar's defeat and Valgaav's "resurrection." While I'm not really sure Jillas and Filia would make all that great of a couple (although I'm not totally opposed to the idea either ^_^) I wrote this fic to illustrate the need for companionship that each of them had.  
  
I didn't include Jillas's accent since it's so thick in the dub, so it would make his lines very difficult to read if I tried to incorporate it. Besides, I'm a big supporter of the Slayers dub, as I feel it was done very well (not to knock the sub, either, which was created equally skillfully), so I prefer to use the dubbed feel more.  
  
I also haven't written anything for a long, long time, so go easy on me... I guess you could consider this a rough draft, as I would like to improve upon it.  
  
Anyhow, enjoy the fic!  
  
  
  
  
  
Jillas's back rested straight against the trunk of the sturdy oak tree, the brim of his hat drooping low over his eye. A light spring breeze whispered on the wind, ruffling his fur and swaying the branches above him gently. With what sounded like a great sigh of a gale, a few leaves dropped down, fluttered for a moment and landed on his hat.  
  
The fox pulled his cloak around him more tightly, shivering a little from the unexpected wind. It was rather chilly for a spring day, yet it was nothing compared to the cold he felt in his heart. He had come all that way to be alone. He didn't want to see his nephew, or Filia, or anyone. Jillas knew they wouldn't understand, and probably couldn't care less. Valgaav as he knew him, was dead. Dead, gone, and buried. The so-called "resurrection" was a farce, he thought. That wasn't him. Just a shell of his former self.  
  
"Lord Valgaav..." he whispered, with a tear forming in his eye. Valgaav was the only one who had treated him like a human being. And only Valgaav could ever have possibly under stood what his race had been through. The Ancient Dragons were slaughtered just as his people were. Peaceful races, murdered through hate and fear. His Fox tribe and the Dragon race really were no different.  
  
Yet he had done so much to in attempts to curry Valgaav's favor, using his one and only talent. And he had even managed to outwit Lina Inverse several times -- feats he took pride in. Just the same, Valgaav always had brushed him aside as a slave.  
  
But just the same... he knew he had a friend in Valgaav. A good friend. A brother. An ally. Ever since Valgaav saved his life during the razing of his town, he had sworn fealty to the dragon. It was his duty as a beastman, and a man of his tribe to do so.  
  
And now, he was gone. Gravos, of course, was still there, but his true loyalty and admiration had always lain with Valgaav.  
  
He gripped the grass with his paws, choking back sobs. He had never believed himself to be strong, and since he was alone he didn't even care what he did. But for some reason, Jillas couldn't just bring himself to cry anymore. He had spent so much time on his own wallowing in sorrow over the past months, it had grown numb to him. Sorrow had long ago been replaced by an impenetrable numbness that seemed to settle over his whole being. Did he even have a reason to go on living?  
  
Jillas reached for his revolver and stared down at the primitive-looking gun.  
  
"Why all the hate?" he whispered. Valgaav truly was right as he thought about the carnage that had unfolded over the past few days. Not only was the last of the Ancient Dragon race destroyed, the Golden Dragons were purged from this world as well -- save one.  
  
Was this a world he truly wanted to be in? Why not end it all? If there was so much pain in his life, what made it worth living?  
  
To Filia, he was a filthy animal. To his nephew, he was nothing but a coward. To Valgaav, he had been absolutely nothing at all despite his faithful service. Lina and her friends would never have grown to respect him, either. All he wanted was the simplest, most fundamental emotional desire of any living thing, god, monster, or human; to be accepted. And that was something he would never have, he was sure.  
  
Jillas stared into the barrel of his gun. "I'm too much of a coward to even pull the trigger,aren't I?" he whispered in his thick accent. He sat there for several minutes, thinking and comtemplating, just staring at the weapon, until he heard a rustling in the tall grass behind him.  
  
He turned his head to the side, only to come face to face with a cheerful-looking Filia, who had bent down to see the little fox.  
  
"Hiii!" she said, giving him a big smile. Jillas yelped in surprise and wound up throwing his gun into the air behind the tree, where it landed with a soft thud. His hat flew off,  
falling to rest beside him.  
  
"Ah.. ahh... boss, what are you doing here?!" Jillas stammered, caught completely off guard by Filia's sudden entrance, not to mention her totally uncharacteristic greeting.  
  
Filia crossed her arms. "I thought I told you not to call me that."  
  
"I.. uh, sorry Miss Filia."  
  
She nodded. "Better." She knelt down and patted the fox on the head. "So what are you doing all the way out here anyhow?"  
  
Jillas's heart leapt as Filia touched him. He looked up at her face, all of his pain ebbing away. Although he kept his surprise and adoration well hidden, he couldn't help but gaze at Filia's features for just a moment. Her gorgeous blond hair, reaching down all the way to her calves. Those beautiful, shimmering eyes, two pools of the purest, clearest water. Her cheerful smile, which melted his heart every time he saw it.   
  
"No." he thought. "Snap out of it! I'm just a pathetic, battle-scarred, worthless beastman and she... she's a goddess..."   
  
He thought of the previous adventures he had with her, even of his "taking good care of the 'ostage" when she had been captured by Gravos. It's not as if his previous boss had actually requested to bring all that food to her. He felt so sorry for her. Someone like Filia should never have had to suffer like that. It just didn't seem right.  
  
Yet, he managed to splatter watermelon all over himself in the process, and unceremoniously plunge his face into Filia's chest. He always was doing stupid stuff like that. No wonder she seemed to dislike him so much.  
  
But maybe things had changed... she was willing to risk her life for him, after all.  
  
"I... don't really know." Jillas whispered, looking down. "I... I just miss Lord Valgaav so much... that's all." He sniffled.  
  
Filia sighed and sat down next to him. "But he's alive. He's with us, you know. He isn't suffering as he was. You do know what he went through, don't you? To be consumed by utter hatred; that's no way to live your life." She paused thoughtfully. "You can't live your life in the past, otherwise you'll never get anywhere."  
  
Jillas simply stared straight ahead, then looked up at Filia's eyes. They weren't the same, cheerful orbs he saw just a moment ago. Her hands were clenched tightly as she looked down. "Filia?" he whispered.  
  
She chuckled a little, choking back a sob. "Here I am, telling you not to live in the past... when that's exactly what I'm doing. Funny, isn't it?" Jillas reached up and touched her on the shoulder affectionately, trying to think of something -- anything -- to say to comfort her.  
  
"You poor thing... is that why you came out here too? Wanting to be alone?"  
  
She nodded with a sniffle. "But as luck would have it, the one spot I pick to go to, you're in it."  
  
The fox looked down. "Eh.. sorry..."  
  
"Don't worry about it, silly." she replied. "Besides, I'm actually happy you were here. Being alone's no fun, isn't it?"  
  
Jillas simply nodded.  
  
"But just the same, I can't stop thinking about what's gone on over the past few months. When I think about all that I've lost in this lousy world -- Supreme Elder, my entire race, V-Valgaav.." She simply trailed off and wiped her tears with her arm, still smiling lopsidedly down at Jillas. "I guess I can't blame you for how you feel, can I? I try to be happy... I've always tried to be strong, but sometimes, when I think about Valgaav, and how he must have felt in his final minutes, I can't help myself." She looked down at him. "But it's not your fault for bringing it up. I'll be okay."  
  
Jillas closed his eye and shook his head. "You loved Lord Valgaav, didn't you?"  
  
Filia looked down at Jillas and just blushed. "I-I don't know." She sighed, able to keep her tears under control. "All I know for sure is that I felt so much pity for the poor man, and such contempt at my own race for what they did to him. On top of that, I guess I felt that I... I saw myself in him."   
  
"Then you know, we're really not so different, you and I." Jillas said. "But you're so much stronger than me, I don't think I could ever handle it."  
  
"Don't worry about it." Filia put an arm around her companion and drew him close. Jillas breathed in sharply at the wonderful feeling, but just let her hold him. "You'll always have me around, won't you?"  
  
"Of course." Jillas couldn't believe it. Filia didn't hate him at all.   
  
"Living my life as a priestess... I never had much chance to enjoy myself. I had to live my life by a very strict set of rules. I was always very sheltered... very protected... and I guess I... well, I never really had many companions at all." she continued. "That's why I loved traveling with Miss Lina. I was able to get out on my own two feet for a change, instead of being locked into my duties."  
  
"But I thought you hated me." Jillas said.  
  
Filia laughed out loud. "No, I don't hate you at all, Jillas, and for that matter I never hated Valgaav, either. Besides, why would I hate you? Sure, you've caused trouble for Miss Lina and the others before, but what did I say about living in the past?"   
  
"I... I don't know. I feel like a monster, the same as that purple-haired man you travelled with."   
  
Filia's tail popped out rapidly at the mention of Xelloss, but she kept her temper under control. "No, you're not the same as him at all. He's cruel, conniving, murderous, and thinks of his own ends before anyone else's. You're not like him at all."  
  
She looked down at him.  
  
"You really aren't. In fact," She smiled a little. "You're kind of sweet, when you want to be."  
  
Jillas looked down hesitantly, then back up at the former priestess. "You are too, Miss Filia." In his heart, he knew that nothing would ever happen between the two of them. Yet just the same, as he let Filia's arm rest around him, he closed his eyes and thought, "So this is what it's like to be... cared for."   
  
  
  
Comments, C&C, etc. welcome. hayama@kakeru.org  
  
~Wyvern 


End file.
